I finally got to watch the "30 Rock" episode about spinsterhood (It's Never Too Late for Now (S5E15)), and let me tell you, it was jaw-droppingly accurate. Here are some choice quotes from this gem of an episode, and below them, the true to life comparison of this real-life spinster.
Liz Lemon: "I took the money I was saving for my honeymoon and I bought a cemetery plot. "
Spinster Aunt: "I took the money I was saving for my honeymoon and went to Cabowaii " (see "Spinster Aunt Abroad")
Liz Lemon: "My fanny pack is in my office in my mini-fridge... I like my tampons to be cold."
Spinster Aunt: "Oh my God, Liz Lemon just outspinstered me!"
Liz Lemon: "I've had three chances: Floyd then Carol, and I was once in an elevator with Tom Brokaw! and I blew all 3 . . . Opportunities!"
Spinster Aunt: "I've had three chances: ***** then ****, and I once got a ride home from Cory Monteith! and I blew all 3 . . ..Opportunities!"
Here's hoping that my friends band togther for my birthday and get me a "swiss prostitute Martha Stewart recommended".
Go watch it!