Diary of a Spinster Aunt - Entry #27
Every few times I fill up the gas tank on my Hyundai Accent, I can’t help but spring the extra ten dollars for the carwash. Living in a 100-year-old apartment means that it would be (and by “would be” I mean “I am assuming it would be”) time consuming and inconvenient to wash my car by hand. In addition, I am lazy and find manual labour distasteful, but I digress. Even if I loved manual labour, I would still take my car through the automatic carwash, and I’ll tell you why. The touchless car wash on the “Supreme” setting, for I will accept no less, takes around four minutes, give or take. I have a play list of beloved spinster classics loaded up on my ipod that all have this runtime. It brings me a lot of happiness to scroll through the play list while I pump my gas and pick a number that I can then belt out at the top of my lungs while my car is being washed. In addition to not making anyone’s ears bleed, the privacy of the carwash also allows full-flail car dancing, and opportunity rarely afforded in regular traffic due to the standard-engine of my car. My go-to songs include, but are not limited to:
“We Belong” Pat Benetar
“Eastern Boys and Western Girls” - Pet Shop Boys
“Islands in the Stream” - Dolly Parton
“Living Inside Myself” - Gino Vanelli
“Beauty and the Beast” - the Celine Dion version, obviously, no offence to Angela Lansbury.
“I want more” - Little Mermaid. Not long enough, but worth the sacrifice.
“Heard it from a friend” - REO Speedwagon
“Hungry Eyes” from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack
“Don’t Cha (wish your girlfriend was hot like me)” - Pussycat Dolls, because spinsters appreciate irony too.
My number one choice used to be Celine Dion’s “Where does my heart beat now”, not only because belting out Celine requires concentration and extra volume, but also because the car wash is the only place I can really connect with my inner French-Canadian by gesturing wildly. Celine, however, has recently been dethroned by the Top Gun classic “Take my breath away”. It is almost a perfect match for the carwash time, and in addition, the tri-colour foam coats the outside of the Accent just in time for me to give it my all during that tricky mid-song key change.
“Haunted by the notion, somewhere there’s a love in flaaaammmmmeeeees”