Saturday, May 28, 2011

Entry #42 - Spinster Couture

Dear Diary,
    I have always considered myself to be a fashionista of sorts. I first became aware of my keen eye for fashion in grade four. For most of that year I wore the same outfit; floral leggings, an over sized red sweatshirt that had a huge happy face on the front and said "Don't Worry Be Happy", pushed-down coloured socks, and a side pony with a scrunchy. I looked good. This was also the year I got bangs thanks to the boy I had a crush on telling me I had a "Klingon" forehead. I will concede that he did have a point, it is more of a fivehead than a forehead, but he didn't have to point that out to me. To this day I still feel a little self conscious every time Star Trek is on, which is awkward as I totally have a thing for Captain Jean Luc Picard; he can "make it so" any time he wants to, if you know what I'm sayin'. WINK!

So the other day I was watching some GLEE on the old laptop and what do I notice? One of the characters is wearing a sweater I own! In my mind this settled the matter, I was indeed a fashionista! I bought that sweater two years ago, way before the GLEE wardrobe people picked it out as a perfect item of clothing for the frigid, germaphobic, redheaded, virgin school-teacher character to wear!....wait a minute...*dots connecting*...Damn it! Clearly the message I was sending was not "vixen redheaded school teacher/librarian" as I had presumed, it was in fact quite the opposite.

I put the laptop down mid-episode and march over to my closet, convinced that there has been some mistake. It became apparent quite quickly that much like the whole "Klingon" forehead situation, I would have to concede that the GLEE wardrobe people may not have been too far off the mark. Not many articles of clothing in my closet shout "sexy", the more accurate term would be "sensible". The few articles of clothing that were not sensible were completely ridiculous. These articles include, but are not limited to the following:

Shiny Gold Flats: I can't help myself, I love things that shout "cruise ship", "Boca Raton", or "Vegas for Seniors". I love these shoes and I refuse to part with them.

Themed Jewelery: I have already admitted my affinity for animal themed earrings in Entry#3. I should probably also admit here and now that I have acquired even more animal themed earrings since then. The biggest hit seems to be the miniature bird cage earrings that have tiny white birds in them. School aged children seem to be especially fond of them, thus my goal of becoming Miss Frizzle is closer than ever before (because "The Friz" had to be a spinster of sorts, right?). The necklace from the above picture hails from my collection of nautical themed jewelery. This piece in particular was purchased for a "Nautical or Nice" themed party I attended, but has since been worn multiple times...on days when no parties were being attended at all.

Drapery Dress: When I found the blue and gold dress I'm pretty sure that Kim pointed out to me (in the kindest way possible) that it looks like it was made out of drapery material, to which I replied, "I KNOW! Like Maria used to make clothes for the Von Trapp children! Win!". Also, it fits like a glove, so we were totally meant to be together.

Honeymoon in 1955: The picture does not quite do this one justice. The colour alone took days for me to nail down. I finally settled on Electric Cantaloupe, and I do mean ELECTRIC. Applique, chiffon and nylon, puff sleeves! I have no idea why men run screaming!

Daffodil Yellow, Lace and Diamonds! : It was love at first sight, and I bought it with the rationalization that I would wear it when I get married one day. By this I mean my niece and nephew will find it as they clean out my closet after I have died an old maid. It will still be unworn and pristine...except for the faint smell of mothballs.

Perhaps my love of vintage is similar in a way to the people who love to dress up in ye olde medieval costumes and recreate medieval faires (extra "e"s make things old timey); perhaps to both of us love and happiness seem more possible and probable in another time and place. This may also explain my attraction to Captain Jean Luc Picard, and possibly my "Klingon" forehead.


  1. I read your post and then this post within a few minutes of eachother and I nearly essploded.

    - Jenna

  2. I just saw your Emma Pillsbury sweater on last week's episode of New Girl! Unfortunately, it wasn't on Zooey Deschanel, who always looks adorable, but on one of her male co-stars...