Friday, October 21, 2011

Entry #52 - Spintermission

Dear Diary,
    Laziest. Spinster. Ever. There is no excuse for my prolonged absence, other than overwhelming, all consuming laziness. There was a brief period of time that I was working seven days a week, but that was only until mid-October. I apologize to all four of my readers (even you, Mom), especially if you had momentarily wondered if/worried that I had finally died alone and been eaten by my cat, Gus (in accordance with the prophecy).

Here is how I have been spending my time:

Miss Frizzle
The parallels between myself and Miss Frizzle have been discussed before. We are both redheaded school teachers with a penchant for theme earrings and learning made fun; we are both also perpetually single and really enjoy the company of our pets.
I got to teach grade one for a whole month, which was pretty much the greatest time of my life. Menfolk may find me underwhelming and forgettable, but little kids think I am AWESOME. They love me, and gosh darn it, I love them right back. I love the stick people they draw, I love singing songs about the days of the week with them, I love being able to celebrate small achievements one hundred times a day, I love it when the one child you least expect gives you a sneak-attack-guerilla-style-hug when no one else is looking. Spinster School Teacher is a pretty great job. All I need is a magic school bus and I am set for life.

Here is just one of my favourite moments of the many magical grade-one moments I experienced:

I am approached by one of my little guys in the middle of centres time (which is essentially free play time), so it should be noted that he's giving up some quality Lego time to have this conversation with me.

"Miss G?"
"Yes, J****"
He pauses for effect.
"I know what the best song in the world is" (This was said very earnestly, and with a slightly hushed tone. Also, "world" sounded like "word")
I stop whatever I am doing, turn my chair to face him, lean in, and reply with an equally hushed tone,
"I've been here for a whole week! Are you telling me that you've known this entire time what the best song in the world is and you're only telling me now?!"
He nods slowly and seriously
"What are you waiting for, man?! Tell me!"
I am fully expecting Justin Biber, Selena Gomez, or maybe some new Disney channel star unknown to me due to my advanced years. This student was, after all, born in 2005. So imagine my delight when after a very dramatic pause he says "....Eye of the Tiger (pronounced ti-guh)"
My mouth drops open, and I respond in the only appropriate way; I slap my hand down on the nearest flat surface and say
"That IS the best song in the world!!" and then I begin to sing the intro "DUH! DUH - DUH - DUH! DUH  - DUH - DUH! DUH - DUH - DUHHHHHHHHH!"
I promise him that I will play that song the next time we do freeze dancing so he and I can punch-dance it out Rocky style. We did. It was awesome.

Star Wars and Crafts
I lost at a week of my life to Star Wars. Again. I used to think I could get a way with just a little Star Wars, maybe just "A New Hope", or half of "Return of the Jedi". I have discovered that Star Wars for me is like binge drinking for other people;
-I can't just have a little.
-I lose track of time (hours, days).
-Hygiene becomes less important.
-Responses to text messages and phone calls are delayed or forgotten entirely.
-Eating becomes sporadic and in my case includes a diet consisting mostly of Kraft Dinner and toast.

This time round I decided I would combine Star Wars with the crafting of some jewelry, this seemed a good way to rationalize the 13 hours it would take me to watch all six films. And so, I sat on the floor surrounded by all my jewelry supplies, passively watching (Episodes 1-3 "Oh...* disappointed sigh* Hayden Christensen") and not so passively watching (episodes 4-6 - Oh! *loving sigh* Harrison Ford) Star Wars. I have discovered that it is totally fine that my "borrowed-from-the-internet" versions of all six films have no subtitles for the parts spoken in alien languages, turns out this nerd knows what is being said anyway. It also turns out that you can make a whole bunch of earrings and necklaces in 13 hours. Now you know what you are getting for Christmas!

Pride, Prejudice, and Compulsive Eating
It should be noted for posterity that Ambrosia, Vanessa, and I redefined hardcore by watching both versions of Pride and Prejudice in one day - Both the BBC/A&E version and the Kiera Knightly version. We also managed to redefine gluttony by eating throughout the entire experience. Tea, crumpets, finger sandwiches, fancy chocolates, you name it - we ate it (and then some). Ambrosia had never seen P&P before, so of course I was excited to share this classic favourite with her. It is entirely possible that it was ruined for her by my inability to not say the lines along with the film. Sorry Broshie!
It should also be pointed out that while I was at my friend Cassie's house later that very same week, hanging out with her and her cat Hotwheels while she worked on her Halloween costume, Cassie asked if I would mind if she put on the second disk of the BBC/A&E version of P&P for us to have on in the background while we crafted (read:she crafted, I sat on the carpet and played with Hotwheels). Did I mind!? PFFT In my opinion there can never be too much P&P, and I told Cassie as much. I thought I was a P&P nerd until Cassie redefined my redefinition of "hardcore P&P fan"  by not only knowing every single line but also knowing all the music as well. Henceforth I shall refer to Cassie's apartment as "Brighton", for "my being there there taught me my own insignificance". If you have no idea what that means, you need to watch P&P in it's entirety...a couple of times...a couple of times a year...a couple of times a year for the rest of your life.

The Most Meowdorable Cat in the World!
I thought I would look back at the pictures in my phone to remind myself of all the awesome cool things I have been doing instead of writing this blog. If the pictures on my cell phone are anything to go by, one might think that I have spent the last month doing nothing but taking pictures of my cat...there are more pictures of him than anything else...then again, he is pretty awesome cool.


  1. Welcome back! Was about to send out the Salvation Army.

  2. Jewlery made while watching Star Wars is awesome, to say the east. I'm putting in my dibs for a Xmas gift now. I also Looooovvvvee compulsive eating...although that's harder to wrap.

  3. oops....
    not "jewlery"..... *jewellery,
    not "east"..... *least,
    not "compulsive eating".... *dieting and healthy intake of fibre.

  4. So glad you're back! (was terrified you'd met a man and given up spinsterhood! eek!) I was watching a New Hope yesterday while knitting. Spooky...

  5. Have you seen the most recent episode of the New Girl - with the handbells? I thought of you immediately b/c they discuss Eye of the Tiger being the best song ever. Love that you're back to blogging.

    Sincerely, your faithful friend,