Thursday, January 20, 2011

Entry #25 - Spinstervention

Diary of a Spinster Aunt - Entry #25

Dear Diary,
If there were a show called “Spinstervention”, where family and friends showed up at my apartment and took away my cat plates and romance novels and then forced me to sign up for Lavalife, there would probably be a portion of that show where everyone is interviewed about my “problem”. When asked if my descent into spinsterdom was a surprise, I feel that each and every person would have to reply “well…there were signs…”
You see, Diary, even when I was in a relationship, there were hints that my true calling was somewhat more…matronly.
In a new feature I like to call “Signs of Spinsterhood”, I reflect back on things from my past that could be thought of as precursors to female bachelordom. I feel that this may, in the future, be studied in great detail by sociologists and psychologists.

Sign of Spinsterhood #1 Affinity for cruises

Kim and I spent around one month on cruise ships during 2008 and 2009. Cruising on its own is not an overtly spinsterly activity, however when you combine the following activities/choices you can pretty much guarantee yourself a gold medal in the Spinsterhood Olympics.
-Instead of a Caribbean cruise on Carnival, you choose a two-week Alaska cruise on Princess; and by two week Alaska cruise I mean that you find out that it’s cheaper to cruise back down than to fly back down so you simply book two cruises back to back and don’t get off the ship.
-You already own white loafers and sequined, animal-print, sling-back pumps along with nautical themed clothing.
-Getting your picture taken with Captain Sagani is the highlight of your cruise. Nay, your LIFE.
-You choose to leave your manfriend at home because you are fairly certain he’ll bring down your shuffle board average.
- You participate in pictionary, trivia, and a variety of other games. You win most of them and have key chains and tote bags to prove it.
-You choose to enjoy the splendour and majesty that is the Margerie glacier with a beverage in hand and from the comfort of the hot tub.
- Having your picture taken with ridiculous Alaskan themed mascots excites you. A lot.

1 comment:

  1. I have to admit I did suspect!!!!! Probably the sequined pumps!