Entry #48 - Spinster Wedding Attendance

It is my belief that every wedding should have a spinster in attendance. If possible, there should also be someone who is too loud, someone who dresses inappropriately, someone who drinks too much, and someone who sings even though they lack talent. If you are smart like my friend Rebecca Reba*, you save yourself time and money and roll all these requirements into one guest; in this case, me.

Entry #47 - Subterranean Spinster

Dear Diary,
   I have neglected you for too long, and it shames me deeply. I'm sure my prolonged absence led you to believe that I had died alone and been eaten by my cat run off with some attractive and charming suitor. I am deeply depressed delighted to report that this is not the case and that I am still as spinsterly as ever!