Entry #57 - Twitster? Spitter?…ugh, nevermind - Spinsterhood in Tweets

Dear Diary,

I am doing that thing that I swore I would never do. No, not that thing! Gross! The other thing...

I was recently signed up for the Twitters. The verb use is correct, signed up - as in someone else created an account without my knowledge and then sent me the login information. Twitter conscription, if you will.

Entry #56 - It'll be a Snow Day in Hell...

Dear Diary,

I shall at length complain about my champagne problems. If you want something uplifting, it isn’t this. There is no only a smidgeon of crying though, which is a refreshing change from the last 3 entries.

Entry #55 - Spinster New Year - Resolutions for Underachievers

Dear Diary,
 
 If the sudden arrival of Christmas was a sneak-up-and-slap-me-across-the-face kind of surprise, then the arrival of Two Thousand Twelve is the back-handed slap that immediately followed the first slap. The indignation at the first slap is still fresh, so the backhand leaves me a spluttering a stream of nonsensical swear words; "dock trugger saint whacker!". Now that I have had a few days to transition I am feeling somewhat optimistic about 2012, in the dangerous "it can't be much worse than 2011" tempting fate kind of way.

Entry #54 - The Ghosts of Boyfriends Past, Present, and Gay

Dear Diary,

Christmas - A time for reflection....and overeating

    Oh Christmastime, you sly wench! You snuck up on me yet again!

It is difficult to believe that almost a year has gone by since "Diary of a Spinster Aunt - Yuletide Edition".  I have a bit of a soft spot for that particular entry as it was the first to be written as a blog, as opposed to the earlier entries which were originally written and posted as Facebook notes.  The first entry of all time was the one-line-plus-photo "Crumble and Nelly", which was written and posted to Facebook on August 12th 2010, less than three weeks after my relationship fell apart and I moved in with Vanessa and Scott. I can't even say exactly what made me post it, but my best guess is that it was probably a combination of the following:

Entry #53 - "Still Bitter, More Baggage"

Dear Diary,

It may seem, at first read, like there is a lot of crying in this entry. I feel that I should point out that while I am a somewhat lachrymose individual, this entry does span August-November...so you can spread out the crying a little in your mind. Average it out. Find the mean, maybe the median, a little mode perhaps? It probably won't make me seem any less pathetic or self-pitying, but it will make my grade nine math teacher, Mr.Carmody, really proud. That, or you could take a shot for each time I cry and get really good and drunk. Your choice!