Entry #18 - Barren is the new Black

Diary of a Spinster Aunt: Entry #18 

Dear Diary, One recent morning, as I wound my hair up in a classic spinster updo, I noticed, to my horror, that my once glorious strawberry blonde hair has begun to fade on me. That's right, Diary, my hair, which once inspired the phrase "It's like she's riding on the back of a unicorn", is losing its lustre. Words cannot convey the depth of my despair. Clearly an internal memo was sent out from my womb to my hair: "Dear Hair, We know you've been trying your best for some time now to be shiny and lustrous in order to attract male suitors. Therefore, we feel it incumbent on us to inform you that we down here in the reproductive area have pretty much given up hope. She's going to die alone and be eaten by the cat. Give up the gold; barren is the new black. Sincerely, Womb & Ovaries". Traitors.