Entry #48 - Spinster Wedding Attendance

It is my belief that every wedding should have a spinster in attendance. If possible, there should also be someone who is too loud, someone who dresses inappropriately, someone who drinks too much, and someone who sings even though they lack talent. If you are smart like my friend Rebecca Reba*, you save yourself time and money and roll all these requirements into one guest; in this case, me.

Entry #47 - Subterranean Spinster

Dear Diary,
   I have neglected you for too long, and it shames me deeply. I'm sure my prolonged absence led you to believe that I had died alone and been eaten by my cat run off with some attractive and charming suitor. I am deeply depressed delighted to report that this is not the case and that I am still as spinsterly as ever!

Entry #46 - Spinster in Paradise

Dear Diary,

      
When you are a spinster, you are sometimes obligated, in the interest of propriety, to escort your younger, more desirable friends on vacation. This is how I came to find myself sitting in a golf cart in the middle of a parking lot; sweating through my SPF 50 sunscreen while wearing a striped floral romper, pink sequin visor, and an expression of perpetual sardonicism.

Entry #45 - Spinster at the Homestead

                                              

Dear Diary,
    This week I returned to the old homestead to visit my family, and in particular, my expatriate sister and her two adorable children. I have mentioned my sister Amy many, many times before. She is the super buff one (with the handsome husband a two beautiful children) who literally lives the American dream in Texas. This week she brought my niece and nephew up to the Great White North for a visit with the Canadian relations. Thus, my sister, brother, and I were all at home together for the first time in a long time. Here are some highlights:

Entry #44 - Synonyms for "Burden"

Dear Diary,
  
    I am sorry I have neglected you. Moving out of spinster mansion sapped me not only of my time and energy, but I am also now without Gus and my twin sized bed. This may seem a poor excuse for not writing, Diary, but I am very much a Spinster of habit and find it off-putting when I cannot write in my usual place. Currently I am sitting at a desk in front of an imac, when usually I write whilst reclining in my twin sized bed with my laptop on my gut and Gus on my legs, tea to my right and Smart Pop to my left. Long story short, it took me a while to pull it together.

I have returned to the place where Diary of a Spinster Aunt was born; the place where I ate crumble straight from the baking dish, read the circulars while drinking gin in the bathtub, and generally made a burden of myself for numerous weeks until Kim returned to Victoria and we moved into Spinster Mansion. That place is S&V's house.